Original Ideas:
- Looking into women’s lacrosse, going over their 2019 season, diving into their playoff journey. Touching on coaches cancer journey as well. Then moving into the upcoming 2020 season with new captains.
- Talking to campus security and safety about how to make this campus more handicap assessable. putting in ramps for wheelchairs, lowering counters in residential buildings and so forth.
OUTLINE:
-Recap of last season, playoffs
-Introduce captains and coach, mention new coach
-Overview of the upcoming season
-Quotes from players
200 Word Draft:
UNE women’s lacrosse head coach Sue Estabrook is moving into her 20th season as a collegiate head coach as she leads her team of 26 into their upcoming spring season. Estabrook and the team faced a boatload of challenges during the 2019 season, as she was going through chemo to teach her breast cancer. There was a lot of weight put onto the assistant coach Jackie Lingyack. This was challenged that also affected the team, as it was hard to go through practices without the head coach. The team pulled together ten total wins out of their eighteen games 2019 season. The girls are moving forward with a returning captain Anna Stowell, followed by her two new partners Casey Conwell and Molly Comelo. The team is looking stronger than ever, coming back with a few more incoming freshmen on the team. As well as Estabrook being happy and healthy back with the team for every practice. The girls will start their 2020 season off with a scrimmage against Wheaton College on February 8th on the Big Bolt Field here in Biddeford. The girls are eager and ready to take on all the challenges the 2020 season brings their ways.
Revised Draft
University of New England’s women’s lacrosse head coach Sue Estabrook is moving into her 20th season as a collegiate head coach as she leads her team of twenty-six into their upcoming spring season. Estabrook, in her 12th season as the head coach for UNE, and the team faced an abundance of challenges during the 2019 season, as she was going through chemo to beat her breast cancer.
There was a lot of weight put onto the assistant coaches Gina Newsome and Jackie Lingyak as Coach was out with many doctors’ appointments. The assistants handled the pressure very well and were able to delicate practices and lifts between the team. All the coaches were able to communicate with Estabrook after practice what they did and what their plan is for the next practice.
Estabrook was able to communicate from home with the other coaches to plan and preform practices when she was unable to make it out of the house. Unfortunately for the team, Gina will not be returning to the 2020 season with the girls, but new assistant coach Erica Letellier will be stepping into her place. Erica is the product of Biddeford schools and has coaching experience in the past. The entirety of the team was challenged with saddening news of coaches cancer that also affected everyone that cared for Estabrook, as it was hard to go through practices without their head coach.
The hours that the team put in for not only their lifts and practices but also the caretaking and heartfelt communication with the coach are uncountable. The team pulled together ten total wins out of their eighteen games 2019 season. They are looking into a stronger 2020 season, as it is quickly approaching.
The wins that the girls got were able to bring them into the playoffs as they faced teams that had very similar competitiveness. The girls were able to make it to the CCC semifinals as the won against Salve Regina a whopping 26 to 10, moving them on where they lost a very close game to Roger Williams 16 to 14. If they had won the game against Roger, the would have made it to the finals to play against one of the top teams in the league, Endicott. As it was frustrating and sad to lose in the semifinals the girls still proud of themselves for making it so far with such a hard build-up of a season.
The girls are moving forward with Estabrook and returning captain Anna Stowell, followed by her two new partners Casey Conwell and Molly Comelo.
*QUOTES FROM CAPTAINS*
After losing six seniors, the team is looking stronger than ever, coming back with nine incoming freshmen on the team. As well as Estabrook being happy and healthy back with the team for every practice. The girls will start their 2020 season off with a scrimmage against Wheaton College on February 12th against Wheaton here in Biddeford on the Blue Bolt Field. The season has come about fast, but the girls are eager and ready to take on all the challenges the 2020 season brings their way.
Workshop Experience
I felt that as my paper was being edited in front of the class, I was in a really safe and helpful community. I didn’t feel judged for my mistakes which is always a fear of mine as I have grown up with dyslexia. I really enjoyed hearing everyone’s feedback on my paper and it even made me feel really good about it. I got a few compliments on the topic I chose and even how I made it about more than the sport. I didn’t even think of it that way until someone said it. I was just writing and telling a story not really thinking about the way it might come off to others. And I realize that that could be a bad thing. I think everyone in the class is very supportive of each other and that the sharing that goes on in the class is very safe and accepted. I got many many great critiques about my paper and I think I have a better idea of what needs to get done now. Though I am saddened to hear that the coach does not want to speak on the topic, I am trying to find other ways of getting in contact with other people on the team to gather their opinions on the coach and their past season. I really enjoyed it and took all the comments into consideration as I continue to edit my paper.
Editorial Reflections
journal #10
I feel that as a class we gave some really impactful and helpful comments to the articles we looked at in class. We were able to come together and talk things out and help one another come up with better ways to word things, help each other find sources, and help each other reconstruct the physical look and structure of the writing. I feel that even though my article wasn’t workshopped I took things away from that conversation that I will use to help fix my article. I really enjoyed the conversations we had as a class, everyone was very sincere and easy to talk too. I really look forward to workshopping my essay and seeing what everyone has to say about it and their advice on how to make it better.
Journal #11
As we came together as a class and edited four more papers today I think that we are coming more and more together and getting to know each other maybe even more personally. There was one point in the class where two people came together to dive even deeper into their topic and helped find another source for them to contact in order to add to his paper. I really enjoyed that. Everyone that gives feedback gives it in the nicest way possible and there is every anything that is said that is not helpful. I also feel that when I state my opinion of someone else’s work or try you give them a helpful hint I always feel heard and make me feel better when someone else agrees or even the author thanks me and agrees with the helpful information. I enjoy coming together as a class and diving into everyone’s writing. I feel that I get to know them better even from their writing style as well.
Journal #12
For the fourth time we have come together to edit peoples papers I think we had some really good conversations. I really enjoyed the conversation today about imagery was a really needed conversation. I am really big imagery and the piece that I am working on for my feature page doesn’t have much in it so I really enjoy it when other people do. I think it’s very fascinating when people come together to talk about how they picture things because everyone pictures things so differently, I think it’s fun hearing what everyone else has to say and being able to build off of other ideas in your own head and adding your own ideas to it and then transfer that down onto your paper for many other people to read and enjoy. I think we had more good conversations about quotes, the importance of them. Every conversation we have as a class looking at different writings, I get more out of the conversations and to take away and to add to my own writings.
Journal #13
For a short edit time, we had I feel like we had a really strong conversation surrounding what should happen in this paper to edit it. We talked about the importance of getting quotes from people that have both perspectives of both companies. As they could list the differences and the pros and cons of both of the companies. We also talked about how it would be really good to have actual quotes from students instead of just paraphrasing what they were saying. There were also a few grammar edits that we made such as the perspective of the paper, using “I” instead of “you”. I also liked how we had a conversation on how important wording things is, and making sure we explain what we are writing about instead of assuming that the readers know what we are talking about.
FINAL:
Taylor Arnold
CMM 211-A
University of New England Women’s Lacrosse
“Nothing lacks about this lax team.”
BIDDEFORD, ME- UNE women’s lacrosse team has made it through a hardship of struggles in the 2019 season, only to prepare them for what the upcoming 2020 spring season will bring to them. They are hungry and ready to win as they start strong.
University of New England’s women’s lacrosse head coach Sue Estabrook is moving into her 20th season as a collegiate head coach as she leads her team of twenty-six into their upcoming spring season. Estabrook and the team faced an abundance of challenges during the 2019 season, as she was going through chemo to beat her breast cancer. Captain Anna Stowell said they definitely struggled not having their head coach with them one hundred percent of the time but they didn’t want that to “reflect how they played or practiced as a team”.
There was a lot of weight put onto the assistant coaches Gina Newsome and Jackie Lingyak as Estabrook had to take time off from practices to rest. “Jakie and Gina both stepped up hugely and it really was a whole team effort” said Stowell. The assistants handled the pressure very well and were able to delicate practices and lifts between the team. “They both really stepped up to the plate and did well, and didn’t hesitate to be one of the ones to run practice” sophomore Nicole Corriveau said. All the coaches were able to communicate with Estabrook after practice about what they did and what their plan would be for the next practice.
Estabrook, in her now 19th season as the head coach of the women’s team here at UNE, was able to communicate from home with the other coaches to plan and perform practices when she was unable to make it out of the house. Unfortunately for the team, Gina will not be returning to the 2020 season with the girls, but new assistant coach Erica Letellier will be stepping into her place.
Erica is the product of Biddeford schools and has coaching experience in the past. The entirety of the team was challenged with saddening news of coaches cancer that also affected everyone that cared for Estabrook, as it was hard to go through practices without their head coach.
The hours that the team put in for not only their lifts and practices but also the caretaking and heartfelt communication with the coach are uncountable. The team pulled together ten total wins out of their eighteen games 2019 season. As the team sat 6-2 in the conference, Stowell stated that “Last [season] we learned what mental toughness was, we learned how to rely on each other no one could tell us how to do what we do”.
The wins that the girls got were able to bring them into the playoffs as they faced teams that had very similar competitiveness. “It was difficult being in a leadership position,” stated Stowell talking about how they made it to the CCC, “but everyone working as a team put everyone in the same boat”.
The girls were able to make it to the Commonwealth Coast Conference semifinals as they won against Salve Regina with a whopping 26 to 10, moving them on where they lost a very close game to Roger Williams 16 to 14. If they had won the game against Roger Williams they would have made it to the finals to play against one of the top teams in the league, Endicott. As it was frustrating and sad to lose in the semifinals the girls still proud of themselves for making it so far with such a hard build-up of a season. They are looking into a stronger 2020 season, as it is quickly approaching.
The girls are moving forward with Estabrook and returning captain Anna Stowell, followed by her two new partners Casey Conwell and Molly Comelo.
After losing six seniors, the team is looking stronger than ever, coming back with nine incoming freshmen on the team. “[T]otally fresh, talented”, said Stowell about the new players coming on to the team, “it’s like a breath of fresh air”. As well as Estabrook being happy and healthy back with the team for every practice. The girls will start their 2020 season off with their first game against Saint Josephs on March 1st here in Biddeford on the Blue Bolt Field. The season has come about fast, but the girls are eager and ready to take on all the challenges the 2020 season brings their way. As Stowell said, “I am very excited to see where this season goes, we have a much stronger mentality, we have seen it so much worse and we are excited to see what we can do with what we have”
Reflection Story
I really enjoyed writing the story that I did. I feel that I learned a lot about my interests just by this one paper. I have always had a large interest in sports, growing up I was a year-round athlete all the way up until my senior year of high school. Being able to write this paper on the girls lacrosse team made me feel at home with myself. I miss playing the sport and I miss being a part of a team like that so hearing the girls talk about how much the team means to them, and talk about the struggles they went through made me feel apart of the team. They explained things in such detail and were so inviting and excited to see someone have an interest in their past and the upcoming season. I am looking forward to diving deeper into some sports teams and being able to talk to more team members about their sport and their place on the team. Because I had such an interest in the topic I was writing about, it was super easy to write this paper. Though I did run into some trouble trying to get quotes, I was successful in talking to the players and learning their side and hearing what they have to say. I think the way that we split up the creation of this paper was very helpful as well. Starting with coming to class with two ideas, then next class narrowing it down to one idea, then coming in with an outline, then writing a 200-word draft. Breaking it up is very helpful and something I honestly don’t do on my own. I also really enjoyed all the class conversations we had on editing everyone’s papers, I can say I took something away from every conversation we had even when my paper wasn’t being edited. I look forward to doing a profile piece on someone in the sports field. (pun kinda intended)
